your question is not very specific as all UML diagrams display some kind of dependency or pathway how to get data or make a call, so I’m not sure if I got substance of your question right
1. there is no such thing as one best UML diagram to show it all
There is usually one system that you are modeling (+ some black boxes in its surrounding environment) and one UML model. At best the tool you use should support Model Driven Architecture (MDA) and perhaps even Executable UML so that the result of your modeling can be more then set of “pictures”. It can become skeleton of source code forming the backbone of the application or it can be even model-click-and-run product.
In order to provide full or sufficient description of the system you’ll usually need more UML diagrams each representing different point of view with focus on different aspects with different level of detail (yet all of them being parts of one model).
(This ↑ was the hard part for me to understand)
2. before deciding which diagrams to use make some paper & pencil prototypes
It is quite importtant to make sure which diagram fits your needs before you start drawing it in a good looking sharable form using a tool. Even drawing in Enterprise Architect takes some time to get used to and to get it right.
Very good guide how to do a paper & pencil diagrams and which of them is used for what and how to spend only as much time as is needed:
- Agile Modeling – Start Here
- …
- Agile Modeling – UML 2 Component Diagrams: An Agile Introduction
- Agile Modeling – UML 2 Sequence Diagramming Guidelines
- …
3. sequence diagrams are expressive simple and useful for programmers
There are even tools that can turn sequence diagrams into code or tools that can turn source code into a sequence diagram.
- overview UML sequence diagrams overview of graphical notation
- overview IBM Rational Edge – UML basics: The sequence diagram
- tutorial Enterprise Architect – 14 minute video – Create Sequence Diagram
4. activity diagrams are expressive and useful for programmers
- overview Debenedetti Emanuele, Activity diagrams in UML 2.0
- background by Conrad Bock (one of UML authors), UML 2 Activity and Action Models, The Journal of Object Technology
- UML 2 Activity and Action Models
- UML 2 Activity and Action Models, Part 2: Actions
- UML 2 Activity and Action Models, Part 3: Control Nodes
- UML 2 Activity and Action Models, Part 4: Object Nodes
- UML 2 Activity and Action Models, Part 5: Partitions
- UML 2 Activity and Action Models, Part 6: Structured Activities
- tool manuals
- PaceStar UML Diagrammer, UML Diagramming Guide – http://www.pacestar.com/uml/udg60.pdf
- Sparx Enterprise Architect, Using UML Part Two – Behavioral Modeling Diagram – http://www.sparxsystems.com.au/downloads/whitepapers/UML_Tutorial_Part_2_Introduction.pdf
- Microsoft Visual Studio, UML Activity Diagrams – http://msdn.microsoft.com/en-us/library/vstudio/dd409360.aspx
5. high level overview diagrams useful for programmers and others (not UML)
- poster Business Process Model and Notation
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clear expressive language easy to comprehend ARIS Event-Driven Process Chain (EPC) (my favorite since the first time I met it back in 1999)
6. = 1 + 2 + you
make some paper & pencil sketches and decide yourself which diagrams best suit your needs