Well I guess if there is no solution to get a specific node from gridpane by is column and row index, I have a function to do that,
private Node getNodeFromGridPane(GridPane gridPane, int col, int row) {
for (Node node : gridPane.getChildren()) {
if (GridPane.getColumnIndex(node) == col && GridPane.getRowIndex(node) == row) {
return node;
}
}
return null;
}