You could modify your INSERT to be something like this:
INSERT INTO tablename (tag)
SELECT $tag
FROM tablename
WHERE NOT EXISTS(
SELECT tag
FROM tablename
WHERE tag = $tag
)
LIMIT 1
Where $tag
is the tag (properly quoted or as a placeholder of course) that you want to add if it isn’t already there. This approach won’t even trigger an INSERT (and the subsequent autoincrement wastage) if the tag is already there. You could probably come up with nicer SQL than that but the above should do the trick.
If your table is properly indexed then the extra SELECT for the existence check will be fast and the database is going to have to perform that check anyway.
This approach won’t work for the first tag though. You could seed your tag table with a tag that you think will always end up being used or you could do a separate check for an empty table.