How about
$('select>option:eq(3)').attr('selected', true);
Example:
$('select>option:eq(3)').attr('selected', true);
<script src="https://cdnjs.cloudflare.com/ajax/libs/jquery/3.3.1/jquery.min.js"></script>
<select>
<option>1</option>
<option>2</option>
<option>3</option>
<option>4</option>
<option>5</option>
</select>
for modern versions of jquery you should use the .prop()
instead of .attr()
$('select>option:eq(3)').prop('selected', true);
Example:
$('select>option:eq(3)').prop('selected', true);
<script src="https://cdnjs.cloudflare.com/ajax/libs/jquery/3.3.1/jquery.min.js"></script>
<select>
<option>1</option>
<option>2</option>
<option>3</option>
<option>4</option>
<option>5</option>
</select>