I think you can simply do this:
@cust = Customer.new(params[:customer])
@cust.houses << House.find(params[:house_id])
Or when creating a new house for a customer:
@cust = Customer.new(params[:customer])
@cust.houses.create(params[:house])
You can also add via ids:
@cust.house_ids << House.find(params[:house_id])